Brain Freeze

User: "Can you help me with something?  I don't know how to print on a mac"
Me: "Okay, let me show you how, where are you logged in?"
User: "I'm not"
Me: "ummmm......okay, well once you log in, let me know if you have any issues"

User: "I'm technology challenged, how does the copier work?"
Me: "All you have to do swipe your ID at the card reader, put the document on the flatbed and click start"
.....A few minutes later....
User: "where do I put my document, I'm confused"
Me: "That's the color printer, the copier is over there"

User: "Hey, this pen ran out of ink, can I have another one?"
Me: "Here you go"
User: "Thanks, here you can have this [dead] one back"

User: "Can you show me how to use the 3-hole punch?"

User: [with deer in headlights look]
Me: "Can I help you with something?"
User: "ummm......ummm"
Me: "So are you just aimlessly wandering around?"
User: "Yes"

Finding their Way

User: "How do you demagnify a computer?"

User: "Do you know where I can find the _____ computing site?"
Me: "You're in it right now?"
User: "Really? are you sure?"

User: "I can't seem to find the document I printed"
Me: "Which computer did you print from?"
User: "I don't know"

User: "Do you have a folder I can borrow for an interview?"

User: "I hate computers, can you help me out?"

User: "Do you help with technology?"

User: "Am I allowed to use a USB port?"

User: "Which of the computers have scanners?"

User: "How do I find this printer?"

User: "So we have to bring our own headphones?"

User (awkwardly stares at consultant from distance)
Me: "Can I help you..............with something..............?"
User: "Is there a computer available?"

User: "Do you have a pen I can borrow?"
Me: "I'm sorry, we don't"
User: "What about the one in your hand?"
Me: "I'm using it"
User: "I just need it for a minute or two"

User: "Do you have an envelope?"
Me: "No, sorry"
User: "Not even for me?"