Where's Darwin When You Need Him?

User: "Is there a way I can scan a document into a computer?"

User: "Someone told me there's a FedEx drop-off location here"

User: "Yo dog, you got a stapler down here man?"

User: "Do you have tape?"
Me: "yeah, by the printers"
User: "No, I mean duct tape"
Me: "No"
User: "How about a spare screw?"
Me: "No"

User: "The signs say you have staplers but I can't find them"
Me: "They're on the tables by the printers"
User: "Like behind the printers? I don't see them"
Me: "On the table next to the stapler sign"
User: "Oh I didn't know that was a stapler"